Nagging Mommies.....
"Repetition is one of the most basic learning techniques. Infants use it to learn to speak. Athletes use it to perfect athletic skills. Repetition is sometimes seen as boring or looked down upon as an attempt to simply memorize rather than understand. However, for many individuals with learning differences, repetition is essential. Knowing when huge amounts of repetition are needed is what ofter makes the difference between learning and forgetting and learning and remembering."(Cooper, 2001)
Nagging is often taken as a negative action. The Thesaurus defines it as "v.intr. 1. To scold, complain, or find fault constantly: e.g.nagging at the children."
Having said this....how do we change this to be a positive? Because, reminders done in nagging manner may be more detrimental and cause frustrations, because at most times, emotions get in the way. However, "positive reminders" carried out with a positive tone of voice and using constructive and positive words may be more fruitful in getting the task done.
When there's a need to remind, take a deep breath and state what is needed to be done in a matter-of- fact manner. Remember to say "Please and Thank you". Give the child some time to get settled and start with the task given. If the task is not fully understood, the parent need to explain what is expected and a time frame has to be given. You'll have to give a certain allowance, give and take, depending on the ability and capability of the child. Be understanding, yet firm. A child has to learn to pick up his toys after playing, and he/she should be given a reasonable amount of time to clear them. Maybe a cause and effect explanation would be useful too, like telling him/her if he/she doesn't pick up his/her toys, someone might get hurt stepping on them.
The same with school work completion and self-study. Certain expectations have to be shared and understood between the parent and the child. This may sound idealistic, but I feel that a certainly type of moderate home rules and regulations should be present.
I'm not an expert in this just yet. I have always reminded myself to stay calm, God Willing, when having to remind my boys on tasks like clearing up their plates or getting homework done. I realize nagging doesn't help, in fact, it makes me feel totally drained and frustrated. I'm learning to 'ask' instead, such as, " Will you be starting on your work soon?" or saying "It's time to off the TV and start on your schoolwork". I don't like to be nagged at and I know my boys will not like it either. So, I think reminders should work for now.
It's not easy to have a perfect household. No one's perfect. To be rigid and expect the best of everyone and everything may put an extra strain on ourselves. There shouldn't be any resentment in carrying out our tasks, because this will only make things harder. There must be genuine love and concern within us, and this will certainly show in how we work and how we carry out ourselves. The children and family is our responsibility (amanah) and it is up to us how best we want things to be.
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Acknowledgment:
Cooper, R. (2001), Serving those who learn differently - Repetition, http://www.learningdifferences.com/Main%20Page/Topics/Topic1a.htm
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Sheen Mars is a SAHM who is on a journey of continuous learning. She especially enjoys exploring and sharing her personal thoughts and opinions, as she reflects on her life as a SAHM. Discover more about Sheen's Thoughts at =>> http://missionpossible-sahm.blogspot.com/search/label/Sheen's%20Thoughts
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